Monday, February 18, 2013

Sun and happy

The sun is out.  I don't believe that I could feel more content.  The sun is hitting my back, warming it to that place where I wonder if I might get a sunburn.  But I don't care.  Let it sink into me, warm me from one side to the next, so I can feel my intestines warm and red-hued see-through.  Today was a day of nothing and everything all at once.  Why is it, that if we don't do something we've never done before, or something that "needed" to be done, we think we haven't accomplished anything for the day?  For example, if I was to tell my family what I did today, I would feel a bit foolish.  All this day has consisted of is a) soaking in the sun, b) painting and drawing, and c) listening to music, very loudly and very satiating (aka Imogen Heap radio and epic female artists).

Oh how I love that over a year ago I left everything I knew and moved to France.  The act of purposefully deciding to not have a plan, and to be okay with it, has been the best decision of my life.  Our push and pull world of more and more and more, our climb and flatten world of success, success, success--it exhausts/ed me.  And had me completely in it's hold, until I started living as a stay-at home mom.  Talk about a change in perspective.  The little things matter now.  The act of success and running the rat-race seems so ridiculous now.  And I still get caught on it.  Like, today, and feeling foolish for not necessarily "accomplishing" anything.  Isn't it just as important to fill our hearts and expand the right-side of our brain?  Why do we simply assume that those who work 40+ hours a week and have a long list of recognizable achievements as "better"? 

I never want to forget this lesson.  The lesson that taking a day to connect with myself, with others, with nature, with God, with music, with art, with animals, is never less important, and perhaps even more important, than filling my days with the acts of more, more, more, and success, success, success.  Let me be filled instead with sun and light,  music and wind, art and colors, and people.  Because really, people just make everything better.

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