Sunday, September 8, 2013

Taking Care of Myself

I'm back in the United States.  I know, I know, I have been for over two months.  But, it takes about two months to really realize that you are back in your home land.  Plus, I have finally unpacked my suitcases, I have a somewhat stable schedule for each day, and I have a little bit more direction in my life then I did two months ago.  It  is amazing how quickly life can change.  And how amazingly awesome and scary it can be all at the same time. 

The plan all along, after arriving back from France, was to visit family and friends and eventually end up at my Aunt and Uncle's place to figure out what I was going to do with my life.  You know, I like to plan things, and I liked this plan.  I also didn't realize that my life would do a big ol' spin around within two weeks and would find me with a new job, new master's program, new living arrangements, and new direction.  Be careful what you plan for, it might actually happen.

Everyday I find myself celebrating and struggling, all in one breath.  I am blessed with amazing people and amazing opportunities.  And I also find myself missing the life I had just two months ago.  I am so excited for everything that is happening right now, today, and I also cannot ignore the fact that half of me is still sitting at my host family's breakfast table, happily listening to them converse in French and loving every moment that we shared.  I find myself wishing that I had more of me to give.  I am stressed, in a good way, by all the new things happening.  It's still stress, though, and it takes a toll on my abilities to put in the time and effort that I want to in all the beautiful friends and family that I have across the globe. 

I guess this blog is really about just letting myself, and everyone whom I love, know that I need to take care of myself.  Life has given me lemonade.  I couldn't be more grateful.  And I need to spend some time figuring out how to drink it all.  Which may mean that I am not as good as I want to be at communicating and connecting with all of you beautiful people that bless my life everyday.  Thank you for every ounce of support you give me.  I am nothing without the people in my life.  I just want you to each know that, although I may seem a bit distant, and I may be a bit silent, I think of you each and every day and cherish you no less.  Thanks for being understanding.  I'm trying to do the same for myself.